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Friday, March 23, 2007

"Progressives" Against the Exodus

This satire is a lot of fun, but of course, not all progressives think like this.

"Progressives" Against the Exodus
March 20, 2007
By Daryl Temkin, Ph.D.
       Why did Moses have to stop and take notice of that burning bush?  Couldn't he have simply walked past it and not have engaged in conversation?

       In a progressive view, Moses became a radical Egyptophobe who publicly denounced the terrible conduct of the Egyptian taskmasters, slave owners and, worse, he discredited the words of Pharaoh. Moses exposed Pharaoh and embarrassingly demonstrated that he was not a "moderate".  But in spite of a mountain of evidence, the progressive view insisted that Pharaoh's political leadership was just fine. Moses' view was marginalized and seen as alarmist and extremist.

       The "progressive" slaves hated Moses' freedom campaign because they saw it as disruptive to Egypt, and a justification for anti-Jewish protests.  The progressive intellectual slaves proclaimed Moses to be a stupid stutterer who couldn't even pronounce basic words.  Although all the documents of Egypt consistently pressed for the annihilation of the Jews, the progressives argued that Pharaoh was really benign and had recognized the existence and rights of the Nation of Israel -- it was only for political reasons that Pharaoh couldn't publicly state his recognition.

       Two professors from the prestigious Nile University published research which indicated suspicion that the Israelite nation was not politically supportive of Egyptian attitudes and was organizing to achieve its own goals. Progressive slaves quickly argued in favor of continued Jewish enslavement.

       The fact that Moses the radical wanted the Jews to abandon Egyptian enslavement was a terrible affront to Egyptian taskmasters and was a reason to initiate widespread anti-Semitism. The progressives claimed that if the Jews would only stay and cooperate with the Egyptian plan to kill them, then hatred of the Jews would not have to be aroused.

       The progressive slave position declared that Moses was an "imperialist expansionist" whose goal was to have the Jews leave Egypt and become a free people in their own land.  Leaving Egypt meant that the Jews were planning to conquer the entire universe. The progressives warned that the Jews who entered the Sinai desert would be the beginning of an unbearable occupation and would create an unsightly refugee problem of Jews living in makeshift tents for decades. The world would be in constant fear regarding where the Jews would settle and which indigenous population would be displaced.

       In the face of trying to negotiate with an administration that doesn't recognize you, Israel embarked on a unilateral decision to leave Egypt.  The progressives protested the decision claiming that it was misguided, it wouldn't lead to the betterment of the Israelites, and that the Egyptians were given virtually no choice in the matter.

       By leaving Egypt, the Jews robbed the Egyptians of their slaves.  Robbing a nation of its slaves was a human rights violation of the Ramsee Convention's Protection of Slave Owners' Rights.  At the Nile International Court of Justice, crowds of progressives joined Egyptians chanting, "Give us back our slaves so they can serve us."

       The prosecution's legal argument stated that the slaves couldn't leave Egypt because that would cause an enormous loss to Egyptian brutality and would basically destroy Egyptian brick production.  The price of bricks would skyrocket and cause the collapse of the international brick market.

       Progressive slaves joined the Egyptian conspiracy theory stating that the Jews knew the opening and closing times of the Red Sea and therefore planned the entrapment and destruction of Pharaoh's army.  Furthermore, they claimed that the Israeli apartheid leaders had filled Egyptian swimming pools with blood so that an entire generation of Egyptians couldn't learn how to swim.  The enormous damage caused to Egypt with the loss of countless waterlogged chariots, army uniforms, drowned horses and soldiers would be the fault of the Jews. 


Egyptian historians conducted conferences to prove that the Jews never belonged in Egypt and that they only came to steal the Egyptian land.  Yet, the Egyptian-Goshen two state solution was touted by progressives as being a safe and secure living condition that would guarantee Jewish enslavement.  The security fence surrounding Goshen would comfort Egyptians that no slave would ever escape.

       Moses realized that no matter how hard Jews slaved away for the Egyptians, and no matter how many "Nile Prize" science awards the Jews would earn, the Egyptians would continue publishing anti-Semitic school textbooks.  No matter how perfect the Jews would be, the Egyptian media would continue preaching that the Jews are the usurpers of the land, pariahs and blood sucker expansionists whose only interest was to rob Egypt and to push the Egyptians into the sea. In response to the blatant Egyptian anti-Semitism, the progressive slaves chose to be silent and just act as if nothing was wrong.

       Using magical thinking, the progressives claimed that eventually Egypt would recognize the Israelites and the Egyptian taskmasters would stop killing Jews for sport. The progressives claimed that everything would be fine if only  Moses would stop his demands and the Israelites would behave as model cooperative slaves.  But if Moses continued to demand freedom and liberty, the Egyptians and the world would be forced to hate the Jews.

       Although the progressive slaves would fight ferociously for other people's right to be free, when it came to themselves, it was better that they remain a no-people with no rights and no-land, and let the nations of the world decide where and what should be done with them.

       Then, the progressives turned the discussion of freedom up-side-down. They claimed that Moses was the real threat to the Jews, not Pharaoh, and that Moses was the enslaver. They claimed that the world hated the Jews because of Moses' plan to take the Jews beyond their borders.  The progressives just wanted to be loved by those who articulated their plans to kill them.

       Pharaoh preached that he wasn't anti Semitic -- after all, he was a Semite; so how could he be called anti-Semitic?  Pharaoh was just "anti-Israel".  He just didn't want the Jews to go off and become their own people in their own land. The fact that he made it legal to kill, murder, and abuse the Israelites was just a minor detail which human rights groups would choose to ignore.

       It is estimated that 80% of the Egyptian Jews were against the Moses plan of seeking personal and religious freedom.  If there had been a democratic vote, Moses would have been defeated by a landslide, imprisoned, and likely lynched.

       The 80% of the slave community who sounded so rational in their refusal to leave Egypt vanished; some say they disappeared during the biblical Plague of Darkness.  Basically, they became invisible because their beliefs led to the erosion and dismantling of the Jewish mission.


Copyright - Original materials copyright (c) by the authors. Originally posted at Please do link to these articles, quote from them and forward them by email to friends with this notice. Other uses require written permission of the author.


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